Let’s Talk About Sex

Drum After Dark & Adult Luxury : Let’s talk about sex.

If your sex life isn’t fulfilling, we share tips how you can make it better. A good start is talking to your partner about how you feel about sex.

Why talking about sex is good

Communication is very important in any healthy relationship because it lets you share your feelings and tackle problems together. This is also true of your sex life, especially if something is worrying you.

“If you can talk about things that are going on in your sex life, then you don’t have to bury your problems,” says Adult Luxury’s owner.

“It’s often when a problem goes underground that people start to worry about what might be wrong. That’s when a distance arises in the day-to-day relationship.”

For example, if you want sex less often than your partner but you don’t talk about it, your partner may worry that you don’t love them any more or are having an affair.

If you talk about it – perhaps you’re feeling stressed about work, or you’re coming to terms with changes to your body as you get older – then your partner will know the truth and both of you can work on managing the problem.

To spice things up and/or to open up conversations, shopping for sex toys together is a fun positive way to bring up your concerns or express your fantasies, to discuss problems and find solutions together. Click here to shop couples sex toys.

How and when to say something about sex

Adult Luxury’s owner agrees that many people find it hard to talk openly about sex, especially if they’ve never spoken about it with their partner. That is why she suggest shopping for sex toys together is a great fun way to open the conversation on a positive platform.

“You have to pick the right moment,” says Adult Luxury’s Owner. If you’re concerned about your sex life, don’t discuss it when you’ve just tried to make love and it hasn’t worked. Wait up until you and your partner is in a happy relaxed mood, then suggest to look at some toys. A good place to start, is couples sex toys.

Choose a time when you can be alone together and won’t be interrupted by phones ringing or children returning from school.

Think about the words you’ll use. “Many couples don’t say anything for fear of hurting their partner’s feelings,” says Adult Luxury’s Owner.

“But if you’re not happy with your sex life, it’s OK to be honest about how it’s affecting you.”

In a loving partnership, the two of you can work together to find a solution that works for you both.

Be sensitive about your partner’s feelings

You can bring up suggestions or concerns without hurting your partner’s feelings. Be sensitive and reassuring, and ask your partner to share their thoughts with you.

Adult Luxury’s owner suggests saying something like, ‘I’ve noticed we’re not making love as often as we used to, and that kind of bothers me. What do you think about it?’ Should we investigate some toys together?

If your partner asks why you haven’t brought it up before, be honest – perhaps it’s because you weren’t sure how to say it, or you were hoping that things might improve.

Once you’ve raised the subject, you’ll need to give your partner some time. “It can be a shock for your partner. Once the subject is out in the open, you both might need to go away and think about how you’re feeling, and what you could do differently.

If your partner for some reason decline your request to discuss above said, do come back to it. There’s no point raising the subject, then not following it through with another action, even if that action is to have another discussion.

Together you can work out how to manage the situation. If you’re both honest about your feelings, you’ve got a better chance of finding a solution that works for both of you. If you don’t feel you can work it out together, then sexual therapy might help.

A sexual therapist can help you address issues that you might find difficult to tackle. They can also suggest ways to improve your intimacy and sex life to suit both of you.

Find out more about what sex toys can do for your relationship: Click here to shop

Read more articles on sex and interesting topics on our blogs or DRUM magazine.

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